Life served
Writing my column this week proved to be more of a challenge than most. The thoughts of possibly not being so engaging keeps running through my mind. Also while dealing with a cold hard truth of having a good friend pass away unexpectedly and his wife in the ICU. I don’t want to really discuss my friend’s passing and the state of his wife, but that is what is on the forefront of my mind. Memories of them around campfires that were recent, the s’more making and all the laughs we always (used to) have. But no longer, in this life.
I still wake up everyday saying to the universe “today will be a good day,” and “everything always works out for me;” however the past couple of mornings the facts hit me over and over. I guess I keep thinking the outcome is somehow someone playing a very cruel joke, but that isn’t the case.
Death is something, isn’t it? We all know it’s coming eventually but yet the human race tends to struggle with the whole concept of letting our loved ones go.
From my teachings and all the knowledge that I have acquired through my years, there is understanding of how one becomes stardust again. And depending on what belief system one abides by, generally one is able to get some solace and some relief with the belief they move on into the afterlife. Whether that be the beginning of one soul’s life in heaven or reincarnation, etc. Nothing, however, truly takes away the pain and your body’s understanding of loss.
I tried to describe it to some folks, how I know the truth and the facts, but this vessel I am being carried in needs to cry and needs to purge those feelings of disbelief. How I understand that - in my belief - is that everyone has a hand in writing their own lifetime and ending with the big guy. There are certain lessons we must learn and patterns to drive out from but that doesn’t answer how some people go in tragic and/or horrific ways.
Someone described the pain of grief to me in an analogy which I will share with you. Maybe one day it will help you put things in perspective as it has for me a bit.
Grief is like a stone that you one day accumulate and you put it in your pocket. At the beginning, it might be super heavy, some days it might be too heavy to move. But the more you move with it, let it be there and to feel it - that is what will make you stronger. Over time the pain and heaviness becomes lighter, not that you set it down - but because you have become stronger and the weight doesn’t feel so heavy. You can always reach in your pocket to retrieve the stone - it will always be with you. Your memories and your love for whomever will forever be in your heart.
Be grateful for those who are in your life, for it can change in a blink of an eye. On a bit of a lighter perspective, I wonder how his soul’s perspective views everything now.
