– Time For A Tiara: Column by Ginna Young – - Looks can be very deceiving

– Time For A Tiara: Column by Ginna Young –

At one of her recent concerts, in front of thousands of adoring fans, the music icon Madonna made a major assumption about someone in the crowd. Madonna was filmed calling out someone in the front row, shouting at them from onstage, “What are you doing sitting down over there?”

She was so enraged, she went over closer to the edge of the stage to stare down at them... then noticed that person was in a wheelchair. Madonna admitted her mistake and went on with her concert, but it really hit me how quick we are to judge someone, without knowing the circumstances.

Looking back, I know I’ve done the same. Oh, that person has a handicapped sticker or license plate, looks perfectly fine to me. How dare I criticize what I don’t know.

I know full well, someone can look fine on the outside, but be full of pain or have a chronic condition on the inside that we can’t see. If they have that sticker/ license plate, then they need it.

How many times have I been made to feel bad, because I need to sit down frequently? Most times, people don’t say anything, but I see the “look” on their face. Yeah, I’m younger and never sick, but did you know I have a torn knee I never got repaired?

Here’s the backstory: when I was 16, we’d just had a heavy, wet snow and I was shoveling the drive. There was ice under the snow, my foot slipped, and the shovel full of snow went one way and my leg went the other. I let out a scream and knew immediately I had torn my knee.

Although I (much later) got x-rays, after my knee never got better, I already knew it was torn. When it happened, it felt like someone took hold of my leg above my left knee and below it, then twisted. It remains the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt.

Anyway, the doctor, of course, said I needed surgery to correct it, but I was a lot more timid as a teenager than I am now and vehemently declined. I opted, instead, for other remedies to alleviate some of the pain.

I tried exercises the doctor showed me, at home, which did help keep it more limber, but the pain was still almost unbearable, so I turned to cortizone shots. Dang, that made my knee feel great! The pain was gone, full mobility was back, it was amazing – for all of two hours, then it wore off each time.

Back to the drawing board. I allowed myself to be referred to a surgeon, but after only a few minutes of speaking with him, my confidence in his ability was zero. He kept saying things like, “here in Appleton,” to which I just stared at him.

Mom, who accompanied me to the appointment, asked a few questions and discovered that was where he last practiced, but no amount of telling him he was actually in Chippewa Falls, would convince him. I think I know what city I’m in!

No, I don’t think you do. As soon as we got out of there, I told Mom I didn’t want that quack operating on me and she agreed. My doctor at the time, refused to refer me to anyone else and here we are.

I’m now 40 and have long since learned to live with my torn knee, but there are just some things I can’t do, with a limited range of motion. I am in severe pain, constantly. Like I said, I’ve learned to live with it and if I can keep walking around, I’m OK.

But, if I’m just standing in one place, like while serving food at a concession stand, I need to sit every few minutes or I can hardly walk. Cement and pavement really kill me, but I push through.

Anyway, my point is, you just never know what someone is going through. Maybe we could all have a little more compassion and a little less judging.

You never know, it could be you in that position.