Changing family structures and the importance of grandparents

Grandparents are an important part of the family, but as society shifts, the ability for grandparents to be actively involved in their grandchildren’s lives will also change.

According to a 2011 Statista report, 43% of U.S. grandparents reported living more than 200 miles away from their grandchildren. I couldn’t find a more recent study, but I would venture to guess that percentage has at least held steady, if not gone up. We live in a highly mobile society where it’s not uncommon for people to move across the country for schooling or a job, or to change jobs several times throughout the course of their working years. Furthermore, the average American household moves every five to seven years with an average of 12 moves during their lifetime. Given all that, the days of children, parents and grandparents living in the same household or a person living their whole life in one location are increasingly becoming a rarity.

There also may be less opportunities for people to become grandparents to begin with. I recently came across an article entitled, “Where are the grandchildren?” by C.R. Wiley writing for WORLD Magazine. A grandparent himself, he was writing from an anecdotal standpoint but noticed many people his age didn’t have any grandchildren.

“I’m coming across a lot of people my age who tell me they have no grandchildren, and a few who say that they have only one, and they don’t expect any more.

“These are literate, educated people. They are not necessarily liberal politically, but they do tend to say, ‘I raised my children to pursue their dreams.’ Apparently, those dreams didn’t include children... We all know what is going on in most cases. People, statistically speaking, are choosing childless lives. When we look at the age distribution for most countries, they look more like tops beginning to wobble than the pyramids of Giza,” Wiley writes.

It’s no secret that the U.S. birth rate has fallen to where we are no longer meeting the replacement rate. (The replacement rate is of 2.1 births per woman; the U.S. had 1.62 births per woman in 2023, with fewer babies born last year than in any year since 1979.) Plummeting birth rates have also been reported around the world, including Europe, Australia and much of Asia.

Women are also waiting longer to have children, meaning that the grandparents of those children will be, on average, older.

Lower birth rates combined with higher life expectancies will have profound implications on the structure of future families. Families are expected to shrink horizontally but grow vertically. In other words, individuals will have fewer relatives close in age to them, but will be more likely to have living grandparents and great-grandparents as life expectancies increase.

“The number of relatives that an individual has is expected to decrease by more than 35 percent in the near future. At the same time, the structure of families will change. The number of cousins, nieces, nephews and grandchildren will decline sharply, while the number of great-grandparents and grandparents will increase significantly. In 1950, a 65-year-old woman had an average of 41 living relatives. By 2095, a woman of the same age will have an average of only 25 living relatives,” writes Diego Alburez-Gutierrez of the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Rostock, Germany, which published a study earlier this year analyzing the evolution of human kinship relationships worldwide.

The largest family size declines are expected in South America and the Caribbean, while North America and Europe will not notice as dramatic of a decline simply because their families already trend smaller.

The changing structure of the family will likely put a strain on the healthcare system.

“Our findings confirm that the availability of kinship resources is declining worldwide. As the age gap between individuals and their relatives widens, people will have family networks that are not just smaller, but also older. Consider the case of grandparents and great-grandparents, who are expected to be in greater supply in the future. While this could theoretically help ease the burden of childcare for parents, these (great-)grandparents may actually need care themselves,” notes Alburez-Gutierrez.

As a society, we will need to come up with the solutions and social supports to meet the care needs of the aging population.

Although the average age of grandparents and the average number of grandchildren will continue to change over time as the makeup of an average family changes, the important role grandparents play in their grandchildren’s lives will remain the same. Grandparents fill a special role in the family that can’t be replicated. An article for the United Way of Utah highlights just some of the benefits of children having involved grandparents: -- Grandparents provide unconditional love. This helps a child feel safe and secure, and leads to longer, happier lives for the grandparents as well.

-- Grandparents help teach family culture, tradition and history.

-- Grandchildren with involved grandparents have an increase in wellbeing and experience fewer emotional and behavioral problems.

-- Grandparents can provide undivided attention when parents are unable to, and can alleviate household stress.

-- Grandparents model values such as loyalty, hard work and sacrifice. While a parent trying to teach a child something might sound like a broken record to the child after a certain point, when the grandparent says it, it just might stick.

The long and short of it is, if you’re blessed enough to have grandchildren in your life, treasure that relationship and don’t underestimate how much of an influence you can have on your grandchild’s life. Even if miles separate you, take advantage of technology and the many ways you have to connect. Your grandkids will no doubt look back fondly on priceless memories made with Grandma and Grandpa.

Striking a

Chord...