Four weeks

Things are starting to get real in the Wilson household.

Last week my son, Alex, brought home the package containing the cap and gown that he will be wearing at the graduation ceremony exactly one month from this Friday.

It its currently hanging off the back of the closet door in the entryway of my house in the somewhat vain attempt that it will not be a crumpled, wrinkled mass of material by the time the graduation actually takes place. I am sure that if it was left to be in my son’s room for the next few weeks, we may never find it by the time graduation arrives.

So, there it hangs where I pass it at least twice a day and it serves as a constant reminder that, God willing, my time as being the parent of a high schooler is rapidly drawing to a close.

It is important to include the “God willing” in there because I would just as soon not tempt fate with the potential for a catastrophic meltdown in my son’s grades over the next three weeks to put graduating in jeopardy. At this point, it would likely take far more effort for Alex to not pass than it would for him to ride out the remainder of the school year.

Still, his mother and I are continuing to put pressure on him to not give in to senior slide and instead keep up with his grades and finish strong. Yes, this is probably wildly hypocritical, at least of myself, who largely checked out moments after taking my AP exams in May of my senior year of high school.

Still, I would just as soon be covering the graduation ceremony with my son in a cap and gown and with the crowd of students getting their diplomas than have him sitting at home. Alex, half jokingly, suggested he could take pictures for me of the graduation ceremony while I just watch, but I declined. I am not ready to be put out to pasture just yet.

I had the best intentions of going out of my way to savor every moment of Alex’s senior year and have tried to be there as much as possible as a parent and not just a newspaper guy. The challenge for me is that my job often gets in the way of having a normal home life. Most of my children’s school events and sporting competitions have been watched through the viewfinder of a camera or with me arriving at the last minute because a city, county or school meeting ran a little longer than anticipated.

Like many parents, I fool myself into thinking that quality outweighs quantity when it comes to being there. Now, as the sand in the proverbial hourglass begins to run out on this stage of being a parent, I regret all those times when I was preoccupied with other things to be there or was forced to spend hours sitting covering meetings about things that seemed really important at the time, and which thinking back now I can barely recall.

Part of me knows that regretting isn’t going to do anything other than waste more time that I could be spending with Alex or sour that time I do have. Yet, I can’t help it. I think it is only natural to want to claw back those moments and embrace the chaos of elementary school concerts and of hours spent building Pinewood Derby cars and of the day while on a camping trip that Alex clicked on learning how to ride his bike and raced away from me.

There is little that will physically be different between now and a month from now. My children will still need me, if for no other reason than for food and shelter. However, that will change too over time as they eventually, (and hopefully,) move out on their own and leave Kim and me behind.

It is times like now that I miss my dad. I wish I could call him and ask him for advice on how to be a good parent when your children are grown and your job of raising them seems to be all but done. But then I think he gave me the answer to that question long ago. You don’t stop being a parent just because your children get older. You continue to be there as a guide and resource and sounding board. You never stop wanting to keep them from stumbling and falling, and you are there to help them get back up again.

I have a suspicion that being the parent of two adult children will be just as challenging as what came before. Regardless, it will be an adventure worth taking part in.

Brian Wilson is News Editor at The Star News.