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A Christmas poem

By Peter Weinschenk, Editor,

The Record-Review

C’mon ma, put on that ugly sweater and let’s have some fun We’ll go to your second cousin’s house in Schnappsville for Christmas Number One.

We’ll bring venison sausage, pickled herring and a year-old cheddar We’ll sing holiday carols at a hoop-de-doo party that couldn’t be better Until we head up to Nutterville in the Dodge with all the crew To my Uncle Henry’s house for Christmas Number Two Where we’ll play trivia and Balderdash, Christmas limbo and Scrabble And listen to all of my in-laws chirp and squeak and babble Before we make trails to your Grandpa Arnie’s place outside of Mosinee Where we’ll clink punch glasses and celebrate Christmas Number Three.

He’ll play the 1967 Ice Bowl game on VHS but before the Packers score We’ll be out the door and down the road to Christmas Number Four At your dad’s farm near Jerkwater, where he’ll treat us right With a wagon ride through a snowy pine woods at night.

We’ll putt-putt along, rumble-tumble, pulled by a Farmall D-430 Under a glittery moon and a sky piled with stars...won’t that be purty!

Which will energize us while we road trip it all the way to Bevent For Christmas Number Five, my parent’s place, the main event Where we’ll have a big kielbasa dinner followed by opening gifts And we’ll sing “Silent Night,” harmonizing in fifths While we do the dishes with my nephews around the kitchen sink And we’ll have a pretty good time. Don’t you think?

After which we’ll extend our holiday wishes of Christmas joy To Rebecca Carlson, Pete the Cat and Michael Loy Ally Phakittong, Rebecca Carlson and Dan Cihlar Eric Mroczenski, Mary Rosensprung and John Weiler We’ll sing to the rooftops, “Merry Christmas to You!”

To Kathy Grell, Mark Stankowski and Dominque Swangstu Gretel Stock, Tom McCarty and Cindy Meyering.

We wish you a holiday that will never be tiring Or flat or fizzless or flub That goes for the entire Marshfield Hoedowners Square Dance Club And Ray Archuleta, Judy Baeseman, McKayla Drozd and Otto Sommer.

We wish you a happy holiday, not a bummer.

Salud! We lift a frothy foam glass of delicious homemade grog And toast to you and your health Chase Griepentrog, Bernie Wenzel, Shirley Uekert, Lt. Gov. Mandela Barnes, Sara Solinsky Judy Kraft, Joan Mullholland, Frank Pratt and Kane Lipinski.

We’ll wish a Christmas the best that ever can be To Miller and Mike, Connor Ellenbecker, Tlusty, Kennedy and Dirks, S.C., Dean Redmann, Ben Clark, Jeff Leigh, Dee Bohn, Kari Butt, Tantoh Nrforba, Trent Socha and the Party Zone, Ms. America Brittany Wagner, Nick Rudolph, Carl Totzke, Amber McDougal, Samantha Daniels, Gabrielle Hederer, Michelle Natzke, Ken Scheiderer, David Perrodin, Tammy Fahey, Ryan Debroux, Lyle Eggergluess, Craig Thompson, Madison Borchardt and Will Hsu.

We say let the holidays be festive, whether you have one Christmas or nine. Keep the party lively, have a good time.

Let there be food aplenty with lots of libations, Let the spirit inspire your every creation To rekindle the bonds of family and friends At this time of peace and joy, good will towards men.

Put a figgy in your pear tree and a ho-ho in your stocking Merry and happy, glorious and wonderful. Hey, now you’re talking!