The pterodactyl needs my social security number
Yup, I had another one of those dreams again the other night. Brace yourself, it’s going to be a weird ride!
To begin, I was at my house, but not my house like it is now. The old, green carpet was back throughout the house, the walls were the dingy cream paint, the metal sun awning was over the west windows, the white wooden door with the antique lock and wooden, rickety open-in windows with latches were in place, and the concrete steps sat in place of the wooden porch.
The outside also reverted back to its former state, with the mountain ash tree standing by the bird feeder, the falling down, demolished garage upright and the broken up blacktop drive presiding over the property.
Here’s the other thing: the house was functioning as the paper office, with computers hooked up and two of my co-workers there with me, typing along. Why we were there, instead of the office, I don’t have a clue. I don’t have internet at home, except on my phone, so I’m not sure what progress was made, but, whatever.
So, the gist is, Joy, Julia and I were going through what I guess was a normal workday, when all of a sudden, Joy got an alert on her phone, that three or four pterodactyls were bearing down on us.
Julia went, “Nkay,” and I didn’t even look up from the keyboard. It was an unspoken agreement that if we stayed in the house, we’d be fine. Yes, because how large is a full-grown pterodactyl? Oh, that’s right, one of the adults could have a wingspan of 36 feet. So, I’m sure they wouldn’t be able to break the house windows, doors and roof down to get in.
Anyway, Joy was adamant that we had to go outside and she would show us how her new tracking app worked. Julia and I tried arguing that we were safe, and that we had too much to do, but alas, Joy gave us the look of death and pointed outside, so we simply sighed and followed her outdoors.
Once we got out there, Joy said she knew about the pterodactyl alerts by downloading a “free” app on her phone and she displayed four round discs moving on her phone screen, which represented the large, winged reptiles. Joy then tried to convince us that we should download the app, too, so we could be aware of when pterodactyls are in the area. All we had to do was enter our social security numbers.
Julia and I looked at each other, and Julia said, “I think I’m going to pass, but thanks.” I agreed and questioned why I would need something like that. “I can just look up in the sky and see if they’re coming; not like I’m gonna miss them.”
Well, that didn’t sit well with Joy, who started jumping up and down, yelling that we were going to get carried away and eaten, if we didn’t.... And that’s when one of the pterodactyls came swooping in, grabbed Joy and made off with her. (Ironic, right?) That’s also when I woke myself up, a whole hour and a half before the alarm, because I was so upset my friend was gone. At first, still in my dream state, I felt so guilty, thinking I should have just entered my social security number and been done with it.
Once I truly woke up, I was mad that Joy was mad at me and mad that I was now up for the day, well before I intended to be. Of course, after I told of my dream at the office, we were left with questions upon questions.
Who came up with this app? Why did they need my social security number? Was it truly legit? How did they pinpoint where the pterodactyls would be? Were there tracking devices on the reptiles?
In the course of our ponderings, I ended up telling Joy, that, for the future, she needed to just let me do what I wanted, which was to look up at the sky for the pterodactyls, because I felt awful, knowing that I had been the cause of her demise. She then told me that maybe she was just so worried about losing me, that she risked getting eaten, but obviously, I didn’t appreciate it.
Julia jumped in the middle of the “friendly” discussion before it got too out of hand and we all decided that we would just call it a draw. Funny thing though, while we questioned how the pterodactyls could be tracked using technology, we never asked one very important question.
WHY ARE THERE PTERODACTYLS A LIVE AT ALL?!
