Throwing candy can be extremely gratifying

By Rebecca Lindquist

I was fortunate to recently participate in Cornell’s Fourth of July parade. The Courier Sentinel entered a decorated vehicle, and I had the pleasure of riding with friend and coworker, Julia Wolf.

I was impressed to see how many entries were registered. Parades seem to bring out the happy in everyone. Men wore huge grins as they cruised by on ATVs; car club owners proudly drove up and down the line, eager to show off their pride and joy; strangers exchanged jovial greetings as they passed each other; and the barely contained excitement of the little ones’ anticipation of riding on floats brought a smile to all.

We had four large bags of candy to give out and, once we reached Main Street and saw the throng of people lining each side, hoped that amount would be sufficient. It turned out we didn’t need to be concerned at all. I was actually shocked at the lack of effort many of the children displayed at retrieving the vast assortment of treats.

Various aged youngsters just sat and blinked at the bounty generously scattered mere inches from their feet. Some were on their phones, viewing the procession of floats and vehicles with a detached, distracted air, while others seemed too lazy to stir themselves.

In my day, you wore tennis shoes, not only so your toes wouldn’t get trod on, but to give you proper traction as you “took your mark,” with a firm grip on a bag or bucket, depending on your preference, ready to sprint forward to reach the candy first. I was appalled at the kids’ lack of interest/ ambition in scrambling for any of the goodies available for the taking.

Come on kids. It was FREE candy. It was the good stuff, too. We had original Tootsie Rolls, assorted fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Pops and mini boxes of Dots. What’s not to love? Julia and I decided early on that we weren’t going to waste the candy throwing to those individuals who viewed the offerings with an almost arrogant disdain.

We would just concentrate on the other children who were standing at the ready, jumping up and down with excitement.

One young lad was making a haul, when he noticed a little girl near him who was too bashful to run out and compete with a few of the older children. He promptly started gathering candy and handing it to the little girl, so she ended up with an equally large amount. That young man was definitely raised right.

There were also many children along the route who shouted a thank you to everyone who tossed candy their way, which completely warmed my heart.

As we neared the end of Main Street, there were two young boys who looked to be approximately the same age. The resemblance ended there. I tossed a handful of candy and both boys moved forward. The bolder boy turned and snarled at the other one, “That candy’s mine!”

The other timid little fella backed off, the smile no longer lighting his face as he kept his eyes downcast. I was instantly riled at the result of those selfishly uttered words. I grabbed a big handful of candy to toss to the dejected little guy and threw it with excessive force to ensure it all reached him.

Just as I released that handful of candy, the demon spawn stepped right in the line of fire. Julia and I heard a loudly uttered “Ow!” as a piece of projectile candy squarely drilled him in the head. I’m thinking it was a box of Dots.

We couldn’t stop laughing. That loudly uttered exclamation was the best part of the entire parade. It pleased me excessively and made me way happier than it should. If I had actually been aiming for the nasty little beggar, I would have missed him by a mile, but karma stepped up.

I should be ashamed at the feeling of intense satisfaction that immediately engulfed me. Am I immature and petty? Most definitely, but I have always been a firm believer in fair play.

He should just be thankful I wasn’t in possession of a theatre size box of Dots.