A tale of true friendship

It’s rare to find someone with whom you share a complete affinity. I am extremely blessed to have just such a friend. Eva Kruzan and I met while piling veneer off a conveyor belt, at Louisiana-Pacific (LP), now Columbia Forest Products, in Mellen.

We started talking about Christmas ornaments. I was telling Eva about my Christmas tree and she commented she wanted to come see it. I told her she was welcome any time, not thinking she would actually follow up, as we had just met.

A couple days later, on a blustery, dreary day, I heard a knock on my front door. I opened the door and Eva stood there, with a huge smile on her face, holding a bottle of wine, and yelled, “Surprise! I told you I would come see your tree!”

I was so happy, but extremely embarrassed. She looked like she just stepped out of the pages of a fashion magazine, and I looked like $2 waiting for $10 change. I was already in my pajamas; an ugly long red nightgown, an equally hideous black, tan and white striped robe, pink fluffy slippers and a pair of Dad’s old insulated underwear.

I felt bad telling Eva I didn’t drink and she felt equally bad that she had brought wine, so we drank spiced cider instead, which we leisurely sipped by the glow of the Christmas lights. Eva had to examine each ornament in detail, and we talked for hours about anything and everything.

When she was leaving, she gave me a huge hug. Eva is the kind of person who hugs with her heart. When she hugs you, you know you’ve been hugged. Some people give a token hug, barely making contact, as if afraid of contracting leprosy.

From that moment on, we were firm friends.

We have shared so many experiences since. We worked together at LP, Superior Choice Credit Union and North Country Lumber. People laughingly asked where we were going to work together next. We even shared childbirth experiences.

I was in the delivery room when Eva gave birth to her second child, Tabitha. I was two months pregnant with my daughter, Hannah, at the time. The epidural made Eva violently ill. I would hold a bucket while she wretched, then go empty the contents into the toilet, rinse the bucket out and proceed to vomit myself before repeating the process. (I suffered from morning sickness all day long for the first six months of pregnancy.) It was such a beautiful moment to witness the miracle of birth, made even more special by the fact it was my best friend.

When the time came for me to deliver my baby, I had a caesarean section and was allowed one person in the operating room. My husband decided to go for breakfast instead, so Eva was my support person. She was so excited to see her first c-section delivery. We laughed so much and afterward, my doctor asked who that was.

I told him it was my best friend, and he said he almost had to tell us not to laugh so much, because he had to make incisions and when I laughed, my stomach moved too much.

A couple years later, my husband and I got a divorce. (I’m sure it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact he chose to go out for breakfast, instead of choosing to watch his child be born.) Eva attended the divorce hearing with me and cried harder than I ever did over the whole situation.

Sadly, she and her husband divorced not long after that, and we talked frequently, helping each other through it.

In May 2015, I suffered an ischemic stroke. My daughter, Hannah, messaged Eva, who was on vacation in Hawaii, with her family at the time. They were flying home the day she found out, and Eva drove straight from the airport to the hospital to be with me. We laughed and talked, and later, the nurse came in and found us both fast asleep.

She commented later that Eva must be a very good friend and it was so sweet we were napping. The stroke left me so tired and Eva was suffering from jet lag. We didn’t care whether we talked or slept, the important part was that we were together.

We have each experienced the loss of a parent. A few weeks ago, Eva’s dad, Ron, passed away unexpectedly. I knew it would be an extremely rough day for her, so I made the three-hour drive, arriving one minute before the service started.

I discreetly sat in the rear of the church and didn’t have a moment to speak with Eva until she returned from the cemetery. She was so surprised, since she hadn’t seen me and thought I had been unable to attend. She gave me one of those amazing hugs, we cried for a while, laughed some as we reminisced about her dad and the day seemed a little less sad.

Eva and I have been the best of friends for 34 years now.

The best advice I can offer, is no matter who you are looking for: a friend, a spouse, a significant other, just remember to choose someone who hugs with their heart and you can’t possibly go wrong.