Have I unintentionally become a super villain?

I’ve written before about my terrible super power to make it rain whenever I go to a Brewers game. It’s not the most useful power, but it’s something, I suppose. And since people seemed to be having too much fun in Milwaukee as of late, I decided to rain on their parade in both a metaphorical and literal sense by attending a Brewers game on Saturday.

Luckily for everyone in attendance, the rain I summoned held off until most were already in the park, leading to a somewhat windy but otherwise fine tailgating experience for all involved. My friend Andrew forgot the cheese for our burgers, I forgot my chips at home and everyone forgot to bring plates, but we made it through relatively unscathed.

Unfortunately for everyone in attendance, the rain came soon afterwards, locking all 41,000ish fans in with each other and all of the hot air that had accumulated over the humid afternoon as the roof had to be closed. I didn’t mind too much, but it was decidedly uncomfortable for some less heat-inclined folks than myself. Still, we had our Christian Yelich bobbleheads and a sevengame win streak at our backs, so the feeling of excitement was still in the air.

The Mets scored early and often, putting up a run in each inning between the second and fifth, and while the Brewers managed to get three runs of their own in the time frame, New York was far more consistent offensively. As we headed into the bottom of the seventh down 4-3, it seemed possible that Milwaukee’s win streak might just end there. Most of our runs at that point in the game had come off a defensive error by Francisco Lindor, so somehow mustering any more was looking unlikely.

The storm outside was really starting to pick up at this point, so much so that rain started to leak through the roof in places. I was, of course, strategically placed so that a drip of water was consistently splattering onto my right shoulder for the final three innings. Not necessarily the worst thing, given how hot it was.

But as the storm picked up, so did the Brewers offense. Suddenly, we started to put together more hits and thanks to less than stellar defense from the Mets once again, Milwaukee managed to take the lead. Then, in one of the craziest events I’ve ever seen in person, William Contreras delivered the dagger, hitting a two-run home run on the pitch after it appeared he had hit into the final out of the inning. After apparently lining out to right field, Contreras was called back to the plate; the pitch clock had expired, resulting in the play not counting and giving the Brewers catcher a second chance. He did not waste it, sending it into the home bullpen moments later and sending Milwaukee to their eighth straight victory.

Andrew’s parents live about 15 minutes away from the stadium, so everyone was staying with them for the evening. Luckily we didn’t have to go too far, because my rain powers were kicking into high gear. The game may have been over, but the storm was most certainly not.

We were playing ping pong in the basement and I was just about to complete a reverse sweep when the water started seeping in. One moment, everything was completely dry and the next, water was creeping rapidly across the carpet. Even with the sump pump doing its best, the downpour was too much to keep up with, sending us scrambling to assist in whatever way we could. Furniture and boxes were evacuated upstairs and a shop vac was brought out to try to do what little we could to get the water out of the basement. After about an hour and a half, the water finally began to subside, and it looked like there wasn’t too much damage done, other than to 75 percent of the carpet.

My rain powers have always been annoying, but now this was getting ridiculous. I was becoming a public menace. Flooding was significant across the Milwaukee area, so much so that half of the Brewers parking lots were still underwater the day afterwards.

Had I unintentionally become some sort of super villain? I managed to escape Milwaukee, but I have a feeling it won’t be long until I’m caught. The pieces are all there for someone to put together and even if it wasn’t intentional, the results are clear.

Perhaps the only way to clear my name is to prove that these powers don’t actually exist. That all of this is just some weird coincidence.

And the only way to do that is to go to more Brewers games. If I go and the weather is nice out, that will prove that these powers don’t exist. I don’t have any other choice, really. It’s the only way to exonerate myself. I’ll probably have to go multiple times just to show that it wasn’t a fluke, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

And if my powers actually are real, well…I guess at least the stadium has a roof?

A C ERTAIN POINT OF V IEW