Take care to ensure speech time is enjoyable for all
Opinion piece by Neal Hogden, Tribune-Phonograph
Weddings encapsulate one of the most beautiful things on the planet, a unification between a pair of people. These ceremonies can vary from intricate planning, with many details, to a simple and efficient ceremony.
Regardless of the scale of the wedding, one thing that can make or break the wedding, is the speech period, in which the best man, maid of honor, parents, bride and groom, and others, are in the spotlight.
These speeches are a chance for those in the audience to see some of the personality of those in the wedding party. They can also go very wrong and make for uncomfortable situations.
This is how you maximize a speech and it’s effectiveness, without overstepping and making things weird.
Remember the focus of the speech
The No. 1 priority of every wedding speech, should be to remember why you’re giving the speech in the first place.
The best man and maid of honor are giving speeches, to support the groom and bride. For that reason, the speech should be centered around the couple.
That’s not to say a story including your personal experience with the bride or groom isn’t acceptable. In fact, it’s welcomed.
Guests of the wedding will be entertained with a funny and sometimes, embarrassing experience, you and the couple share. Be mindful that the speech should not turn into a roast session, where a number of inside jokes or past embarrassments, are unleashed upon the bride and groom.
Instead, one or two personal anecdotes can lighten the mood, and ensure that guests are treated to learning something new about the couple, that they will remember.
If you are a parent, your focus is also the couple. Talking about your son or daughter’s younger years, and watching them grow into the person they are today, is always a heartfelt topic for a parent’s speech. The other job of the parents is to thank guests for coming.
A lot of guests may be friends or family the parents actually know better than the bride and groom, so it is important they hear a “thank you” from the people they know and are there to support.
The bride and groom play an important role in the speeches for obvious reasons. They should be the center of the speeches and I recommend they give a speech as well. I have seen couples give speeches together, the bride and groom give speeches separately, and finally, a bride and groom who don’t give a speech at all.
While no one expects the bride and groom to give a speech, it is a wonderful thing to hear a “thank you” from the primary reason that folks are in attendance in the first place. Take it from someone who didn’t give a thank you speech at his own wedding, not giving one will be a regret you’ll look back on and wish you had done differently.
Other people wanting to give speeches should attempt to keep it as short and sweet as possible, as there are likely many others who will speak. This brings me to my next point.
Keep the number of speeches to a minimum
Speeches aren’t for everyone. If every speech lasts an average of five minutes, and there are approximately five speeches, that’s nearly a half hour of talking, that the audience will sit through.
I recommend keeping the time for speeches closer to 15 minutes. Keep that in mind, when planning how many speeches you would like to have at your reception. People have likely just had a wonderful meal and will probably be ready to fall asleep, by the time the speeches are over. For that reason, try to keep the speeches minimal in length.
The best way to do this, is to take this upon yourselves as the bride and groom. Of course, it’s your day, and no one will say anything if you want to go through and thank all of your elementary, middle and high school teachers, but if you sense some of the speeches are running long, the best thing you can do as a bride or groom, is adjust your speech accordingly.
A simple, “It is wonderful seeing everyone here tonight. Thank you all for your support throughout the years, and we hope everyone has a fantastic time in the events to come this evening,” will go a long way toward giving your restless guests a swift end.
However, if speeches are short and to the point, and you feel there is more time, it is important to have a longer version of what you would like to say, available in the back of your mind.
The best way to carry out a speech
The presentation of your speech is an important part of how the speech portion of the reception goes. For experienced and confident public speakers, this section probably isn’t for you.
I, personally, was very nervous, when giving my best man speech at my brother’s wedding. For that reason, I read my speech off my phone, adding in little tidbits that I had in the back of my mind. I would highly recommend doing this for best men and maids-ofhonor, if you do not feel comfortable speaking in front of people.
No one in the audience expects you to be a perfect public speaker and for that reason, you should expect nothing but support, regardless of if you’re reading your speech off of your phone, a piece of paper or a stone tablet.
For the parents, as well as the bride and groom, their speeches should be centered around thanking the guests and therefore, should be said from the heart and not read. That doesn’t mean pre-planning the speech should go out the window.
In fact, I’d encourage it. However, keeping it simple will help the memorization aspect of the speech and allow you to speak what’s truly on your mind in the moment, without trying to remember intricate details during times of nervousness.
Every wedding has its own flair and this list isn’t the end-all be-all for speech givers. However, keeping to these guidelines is sure to make the speech portion of the wedding something that will be enjoyable to all guests in attendance.
