Why is it always the corn dogs?
– Time For A Tiara: Column by Ginna Young –
I like corn dogs, especially the ones from the fair. They just taste better than the “home fixed” ones, even the fried in oil ones. I guess it’s because the fair ones are hand-dipped and fresh, although I did try that once. It was a bit of a mini-disaster, as the batter refused to cling to the hot dog and curled into a clumpy mess in the deep fryer.
The best corn dogs I ever had, were the ones at the Cabin Fever Alumni Basketball Tournament in Mellen. Dad was a volunteer in the concession stand and those fresh-fried corn dogs tasted so good, complimented with the tanginess of SweetTarts Dad slipped me.
Ever since then, I’ve been wild about corn dogs, but I don’t have much luck when fixing them. If I put them in the oven, the batter around them splits and makes for “crunchy” eating. The risk with frying them, is that the outside might be this perfect golden brown, but the inside could be the temperature of Antarctica.
So, I never know for sure how they’ll turn out, but I still keep trying.
Lately, I’ve had a craving for them for my lunches at the office. Well, the bake oven in the little kitchen area is ancient and a tad bit unreliable. As long as you make sure the knob is precisely on the desired temperature, and you make to sure to only plug it in the bottom or top outlet, and keep the door firmly shut, well, you have a 10 percent chance the oven will heat.
A couple weeks ago, I attempted to fix some corn dogs in the bake oven and it actually worked – too well. I had it turned a little too high, so the wooden dowels burned and the tops of the corn dogs got pretty dark, while the bottoms were soggy and uncooked.
The next time I fixed them, I turned the oven waaaaay down and didn’t burn the dowels. Or anything else. The corn dogs just sat there and didn’t heat very fast. It took FOREVER for them to get done and they were kind of spongy.
This last time, I was determined the corn dogs would come out perfect. I set the temperature just so, neither too hot, nor too low, and confidently walked away. I enlisted the help of my co-workers to remind me to check on the corn dogs, as I get busy and forget.
Since it was a Tuesday, which is all-hands-on-deck to lay out the paper, I literally didn’t have time for any nonsense. Seriously, it’s a day where you limit your bathroom breaks and even put off blowing your nose, sipping water and eating. So, it was a big deal to actually fix a hot meal that day.
In due course, with prompting from said co-workers, I sauntered over to check on the corn dogs’ progress and discovered they were ice cold. The oven, while sporting glowing coils and making its clicking sound, as it does when it’s heating, was not a bit hot inside. Go figure that one out!
I unplugged it from the outlet I had it in, then tried the other one, sure now, that this time, it would work. I started the corn dogs plenty early, so they could cool off and I could put them in the refrigerator, for cold later on in the day.
Well, I got my wish about the cold part.
As I was typing along at my computer, about halfway through the cooking time for the again started corn dogs, all the sudden, over my recording, I heard a beeping sound and a frantic, “Quick, shut everything down!!!”
The power unexpectedly went out and the beeping was from the computers telling us so. We still don’t know why it happened, especially since it seemed very sporadically spread around town.
After unplugging everything we could for when it came back on to prevent an overload, there was nothing to do but wait until the electricity came back on. Meanwhile, we speculated about what we would do if it didn’t.
How would we get the paper put together. If it was an hour or so, that was enough of a delay, anyway, but what if it was 12 hours? What then? We’d barely begun on putting everything together, not all the ads were designed and some of the stories weren’t written. Whatever were we to do?
I sat there glumly, reciting the list of woes, until a thought superseded all others.
“NOT MY CORN DOGS!!!!!!” Yes, that was the most important thing to me, my half-cooked corn dogs, sitting in the again cold bake oven. By then, I despaired of ever getting them cooked or of consuming them.
Despite our fears, the power was restored within 10 minutes, and I tried yet again to finish cooking said corn dogs. Eventually, I succeeded, but they were extremely crisp on one side and soggy on the other, even though I turned them a couple times, to heat them all the way through.
I think maybe I won’t buy any corn dogs for a while, but will just go ahead and wait for the fair to come. It’ll be nice to let someone else have the worry over them, a service I’m glad to pay for. My only concern is that the ketchup is no longer selfserve. How am I supposed to limit myself, I ask you?
It may look funny, but I might just take my own. So, if you see me toting around a giant bottle of Heinz in my arms, as I tromp around the fair grounds in Mill Yard Park this June, you’ll know I’m finally getting those corn dogs I crave so bad. If you want, I’ll even share my ketchup with you, but I loathe mustard, so if you prefer that, you’re on your own!
