How Does Your - Over easy

All of a sudden we are absolutely bursting with eggs on our little hobby farm and we’re now faced with a new question: just how many eggs can three people eat? As it turns out, quite a few, if you do it right. In about a week we racked up nearly two-dozen eggs. Now most of those came from our guinea hens so they were generally quite a bit smaller, taking two eggs to equal just one from our leghorn gals. I’m learning so much about the differences between both birds; not only are their eggs smaller, but the guineas’ eggs have crazy-thick shells. I bet I could chuck one across the room and hit my husband in the forehead without it (the egg) even cracking. Depending on the week this is my unit of measurement for most things. He’s fine. The guineas’ eggs are also way richer. We knew this from our research, but when I made another batch of egg cups over the weekend, it was crazy to see how deep the yellow of the mix remained even with the leghorn eggs and after adding milk. I must also have one guinea hen that tends to lay larger eggs because I have found massive guinea eggs twice now, and both times they were a double-yolker! But we have yet another conundrum. My goat, Ernest, has become even more of a glutton than I ever thought possible. My chickens and my goats have decided that they no longer wish to part from one another, and we have honored their wishes by taking down the fence between them. While everyone seems much more comfortable, it has become impossible to keep the chickens fed. I’ve switched them to a feed with a higher protein content now that they’re consistently laying eggs, and for the third time, Ernie has defied the laws of physics and somehow squeezed himself through the automatic door of the Poultry Pantry and completely demolished the feeder, whether it’s up high or down low. There is no stopping him. So I’ve resulted to scattering their feed on the ground each day. This is not my favorite method; with winter slowly encroaching, we’re seeing rodent activity in our garage and near the house. I don’t like throwing food around to keep the mice fed, though I doubt Ernest would dare leave a spare kernel anywhere on the property. And this does not stop him from stomping on my poor girls to get to their pellets. I’m so glad he’s enjoying the expensive feed I’m purchasing. I have entertained several different ideas. Number one, I could cut the tiniest opening in the fence where the girls can sneak out while the boys are confined to their pen. I could then leave their feeder outside of the pen and they could come and go, essentially turning them into free-range birds. I don’t hate this idea, but I do worry about predators where we live so deep in the woods. I know that if something wants one of the chickens there isn’t a whole lot I can do to stop it, but all-in-all this one just makes me a little uncomfortable. It’s one thing to let the girls out when we’re home and another to leave their front door open all night long. Number two: I could build some sort of platform up in the trees a little bit, just out of Ernie’s reach. While I think the leghorns would be able to navigate this, the guinea hens are a whole different level of impaired. They can’t even find the gate to the pen they have lived in literally their whole lives. They could starve to death before they find their food. Either that or Ernie will somehow stack the chickens and use them as a living ladder to reach the pellets. I should mention that he and his brother, Fergus, get a scoop of sweet feed daily for no other reason than they are spoiled, but apparently this is not enough. Number three: I could find a used dog crate, cut a tiny, chicken-sized hole in the side, stack some massive rocks on the top, and try feeding them in there. This one makes the most sense, but after all this time I just don’t trust Ernie to get fed up and leave it alone; the menace will find a way in. Number four, and my favorite idea: a five-gallon bucket with a few PVC elbows sticking out of the bottom. The thought is that the birds can stick their tiny heads in the pipes and reach the feed deep down in the crook of the PVC elbows, while Ernie (probably) won’t be able to squeeze his face in. We could get a small chain and hang it from a tree to make it even more complicated for the hog and hope that he does not use it as a piñata. As an added bonus, this method would also make it a bit more difficult for rodents to access and I can go longer between re-filling the bucket. What could possibly go wrong? Mandee Ellis is a reporter at The Star News. Contact her at Mandee@centralwinews.com.