Community reeling after murder/suicide 
by Karyn Eckert
The Star News
January 7, 2010 —  The murder of a woman and subsequent suicide of her ex-husband in a Town of Little Black residence last week has left many of the area reeling over the loss of life.
The Taylor County Sheriff’s Department released the names of the victims December 30 as Margaret S. Soyk and Donald R. Soyk. Both were 48 and resided at W6247 CTH A. Their bodies were discovered after a deputy was dispatched to the residence the morning of December 29 for a welfare check because Margaret had not shown up for work at Decorator Industries in Abbotsford. Initial investigation indicated Margaret died of blunt force injuries caused by Donald who died of a self-inflicted gun shot wound.
Court records indicate the couple had divorced in August 2008. Margaret filed for divorce on March 6, 2008, not quite five months after they were married October 20, 2007, according to marriage license records. The Taylor County Sheriff’s Department’s press release stated the couple had been co-habitating since being divorced. Margaret had been granted permission to resume use of her maiden name of McKelvey. Margaret also used the surname of Beil from a previous marriage and property records indicated she owned the home she and Soyk resided in.
Court records indicate a history of domestic violence between the couple dating back before they were married. On March 3, 2008, three days before filing for divorce, McKelvey filed a petition for a domestic abuse restraining order against Soyk in Taylor County Circuit Court.
According to McKelvey’s petition, she felt she was in imminent danger of physical harm. In a letter attached to the petition, McKelvey wrote she and “Don” had met four years ago. Six months before her petition, she said he tried choking her and a few weeks prior to it he hit her in the mouth and split her lip open. In addition to the physical abuse, McKelvey wrote Soyk called her names, threatened to burn her house, slashed her tires and locked her out of the house when she went out to eat with friends.
The couple had a argument the night before she made the petition and it continued into the next morning with him threatening to sell her things and asking if she had insurance on the house. McKelvey wrote, “I fed the cat as I was leaving and he said I shouldn’t bother feeding him [because] he won’t be there when I get home.”
McKelvey described her life with Soyk as living in fear. “I’m afraid to go to work and then after work I’m afraid to come home,” she wrote. “I just want to try and be happy and I feel like a prisoner.”
Though a domestic abuse injunction was granted by the court to be in effect until March 11, 2012, McKelvey asked to have the order dismissed nine days later on March 20. In a statement with the petition, she said Soyk was undergoing AODA treatment and did not have anywhere else to go for support as he recovered. “I’m not afraid of him, more like afraid for him,” she wrote. “I need to be there for him through this.”
Online court records indicate Soyk had a history of misdemeanor charges and served jail time on several occasions for the incidents. The most recent was a 30 day jail sentence in Clark County for criminal damage to property, disorderly conduct and battery. He was convicted in 2005 and served the jail time in 2007 after his probation was revoked. In the sentencing, Clark County Judge Jon Counsell allowed contact with Margaret Beil, but left it at the discretion of the probation agent to reimpose the no contact condition if there were more problems with police involved.
Living in fear
According the most recent statistics available in Wisconsin, domestic violence led to 59 homicides in 2009, a number that grew 22 percent over the previous year. The number of incidents of domestic violence has been creeping up for the past several years.
Kris Porter recently joined Stepping Stones, a domestic abuse shelter and advocacy center based in Medford, as its director. She said domestic violence is alive and well in Taylor County. “What happened last week was needless,” she said Tuesday. Stepping Stones has been assisting an average of 16 women and men per month in recent months.
In Wisconsin, there were 29,667 incidences of domestic abuse in 2007. “That’s what’s reported, but there’s several reasons why people might not want to report,” Porter said.
Victims do not report domestic violence for many reasons, but some of the main ones are fear of safety, a lack of resources, religious and personal philosophies and fear of losing their children. While women make up the vast majority of victims, incidences against men are also growing. Men are even less likely to report violence.
Porter said the poor economy and high unemployment is playing a part in the rising incidences of domestic violence. She said people in that situation may have no job, money or place to stay to be able to leave their abusers. They also feel not equipped with a support system to be able to leave.
Domestic violence usually starts small and builds. Stepping Stones teaches healthy relationship lessons to high school age students in hopes that people will recognize it early and avoid the situation.
Stepping Stones legal/sexual assault advocate Sharon Ludwig said young girls seem flattered by a boy’s jealousy, but it can take an ugly turn. Domestic abuse can start with small things like telling someone what they can wear, who they can talk to and needing to know where they are at all times. Calling a partner demeaning names, making false accusations and violence on objects like breaking things are also indications of an abusive relationship.
Ludwig said at a recent conference she learned there are up to 40 incidences of domestic violence before law enforcement is called. Most people do not report the first time an abuser strikes them because they tell themselves it will be a one-time thing. That’s rarely the case, Ludwig said. “If he hits you once, he’s going to hit you again,” she said.
Porter said perpetrators manipulate the situation to keep their victim in their control. They may apologize and promise it will never happen again or twist the situation to blame the victim for provoking the violence. Porter said it is human nature to want to forgive and believe the person is still the same one you fell in love with. She said women especially are nurturers and want to give their abusers every opportunity to change. “They really want to believe it’s the last time,” she said. “They want to hang onto the person they are in love with.”
It is possible to break the cycle of abuse, but it will take commitment from the perpetrator to change. Porter said words are not enough, but actions can show a true commitment to changing. Counseling and support groups can help perpetrators, victims and their children learn how to be in a healthy relationship.
If left untreated, all involved are likely to fall into the cycle of violence once again. Porter said perpetrators will continue to be abusive toward their partners, victims will likely fall back into abusive relationships because its what they know, and children from abusive relationships are more likely to becomes abusers or victims of abuse.
Porter said every person who has made the change and escaped an abusive relationship is thankful they did. “When you’re in the middle of it, it’s very hard to see,” she said. “When you’re on the other side and look back, that’s when the reality of the situation is clear.”

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