I remember the good old days of television.

The television was this glowing, bluish tube housed in a large piece of furniture placed prominently in the living room of a house.

To use the television, you found a switch and you turned it on. It would take a while for the tube to warm up. Then you would turn a knob on the television set to tune in a channel. There were three channels. They were CBS, ABC and NBC. 

The television worked. Sometimes, the weather would be stormy and reception would suffer, but, by and large, the television was dependable. 

This was in television’s infancy.

Now we have digital television on plasma screens with surround-sound systems fed images from satellites whirling around in outer space.

Television, actually, is so good these days that it no longer works.

You should come to my house, for instance. I have a television set. Doesn’t work.

It used to work, back when we had what the rest of my family calls an analog signal. 

These days, the television is controlled by a digital black box, which is controlled in part by a hand-held remote-control dotted with probably 50 buttons. I say, in part, because the video disc player connected to the television set is controlled by a separate remote control that, likewise, is festooned with another 50 buttons.

These 100 buttons are in addition to the knobs and switches on the television and DVD player.

The advantage of the new digital television system is that I have access to dozens and dozens of channels.

The disadvantage of the system is that it doesn’t work. If I can push the right sequence of buttons between the set and the two remotes, I can actually get an image to flicker on the television screen, but, most of the time, it’s a JV volleyball game broadcast by the Antigo Public Access channel.

I do the best I can.

Sometimes, I just want to kick back and relax in front of the television. Unable to watch anything, I stare at the black screen. You’d be amazed at how relaxing that can actually be. You kinda have to get into it. It’s commercial-free.

Maybe I’m not the most technology-savvy individual. It doesn’t speak well, for instance, when I am yelling at the television set while holding the two remotes and the cordless phone, randomly pushing buttons hoping that I will be able to watch something.

Television is funny. Back in the good old days, televisions were simple to operate and there was always something to watch. Now televisions are incredibly complex and, to my liking, nothing is ever on. Was not simpler better?